Preparing Your Loved One For the Future
Growing up, it was always important to keep your eyes on the future. Planning for buying your first car, researching what college you want to go to, or saving for the down payment on your first home.
The same can be done when you have to make the decision to place your loved one or parent in a retirement center. Feelings of fear, resentment, and even anger can be brought out when having the discussion. Planning for that future move now can lessen those feelings.
Talk about a potential move before the need even arises. Since there is no urgency, it’s a discussion that can be made with calm feelings and open minds. Instead of it feeling like a sudden “forced” conversation, it can be a talk about how to handle the future – however far away it might be.
This is not only good for your loved one, but for you as well. Many times there is a feeling of guilt associated with placing a parent in a retirement home. By taking this proactive approach, when the time comes, the matter has already been discussed, the suddenness removed.
Unfortunately, there are some situations that just aren’t going to be very pleasant. If both parents are still alive, it’s important to talk about what happens when one of them dies or becomes too great a burden on the other. Again, talking about it before the need arises can make these difficult decision a little easier. Selling a home, choosing a community, and other plans are best made without an ever-accelerating timetable.
An important point to make during this time is recognizing that your loved ones want to stay in their own home. In the same situation, wouldn’t you want to stay home? Having a routine and familiarity of your surroundings are comforting to be sure, but there is another underlying reason: this is likely their final move.
No matter how much everyone agrees this step will be the best for everyone, it’s still hard for your parents to acknowledge they are in the twilight of their years, life drawing to a close. Understand that feeling and keep it in the forefront of your mind. Planning for this eventual move will make your loved ones feel they still have the power to make their own choices.
This is a good time to talk about steps that can be taken to prolong the time they can stay in their homes. Scheduling a landscaper to mow the yards or take care of other more difficult tasks can help, as would a grocery delivery service or even a house cleaner.
No doubt it’s a difficult discussion to have, but one that needs to happen. By talking about it before the situation arises, your parents or loved ones can have a say in the process and feel like part of the solution. Contact Knights of Pythias Retirement Center to schedule an appointment or for more information.